Why Does Sex Hurt? A Psychologist’s Take on Painful Sex

Why Does Sex Hurt? A Psychologist's Take on Painful Sex

Here's something that doesn't get said nearly enough: painful sex is common, it is not your fault, and it is not something you just have to live with.

I've spent 15 years working with women who experience pelvic and sexual pain, and the pattern I see most often isn't a particular diagnosis. It's a person who has been hurting quietly for months or years, who has been told things are "normal" on a pelvic exam, or who has simply never felt safe enough to bring it up. Sexual pain is one of the most underreported health issues there is — not because it's rare, but because the shame around it keeps people silent.